This façade is falling apart, I can feel it. Cracks are forming, walls are crumbling, how long more can I keep this up? The silence, it taunts me. Lures me in like how a butterfly would a child. And when I am in its chilling embrace, it devours me, inside out, ever so slowly.
Everything feels so surreal. College, friends, family. My innocence is being raped over and over again, bleeding me dry of my naivety. Cynical, doubtful, frustrated. I don't know, and I don't care enough to know. Its happening again, I'm withdrawing.
My thoughts are quiet. Its happening again.
Temper temper little one, hush now. Don't start those tears for there is no end to the beginning. Denial? Perhaps. It has kept me sane thus far. Sanity, such a relative term, it differs from person to person.
I like the silence, that's what scares me. The fact that I want to be destroyed. I am looking for trouble, hunting for it. Trouble tries to elude me, but I always find it, always.
I am tired, not of anything or anyone. I am just exhausted.
I want to love myself, but I don't know how.
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