I was browsing through Urban Dictionary again and somehow ended up at the word, wank.
No, I didn't intentionally search it, it was just there, and curiosity got the better of me. Besides, I always wanted to know why people use the term 'wanking' for.. you know.
Wank
predominantely British term for masturbation
Buffing the Banana
Holding Your Sausage Hostage
Jackin' the Beanstalk
Rounding up the Tadpoles
Slap Boxing the One-Eyed Champ
Spank the Frank
Applying the hand brake
Attacking the one-eyed purple-headed warrior
Auditioning the finger puppets
Beef-stroke-it-off
Boxing the bald champ
Charming the snake
Checking for testicular cancer
Choking Kojak
Squeezing the cream from the flesh Twinkie
Straddle your paddle
Taking matters into your own hands
Teasing the weasel
Thumping the pump
Tickling the pickle
etc etc
Click for more definitions of
wank
Haha, instead of being disgusted, like how most girls would presumably react, I find this funny.
Oh, did you know that Brits refer to Americans as wanks?
L-O-L!
Wank was linked to PMS.
PMS
innate bitchiness of a woman between age 9 and age 56 just before her period.
they call it PMS because the expression Mad Cow was already taken.
Adam probably accepted the forbidden fruit from Eve, because she was premenstral. Can't say I blame him; I'd choose the wrath of God over a woman with PMS any old day.
From there, I clicked on 'girls' and got this.
Girl
girls = time x money
time = money
thus:
girls = money x money = 'money' squared
and:
money = 'the root of all evil'
thus:
girls = (square root of evil) squared
Therefore:
girls = evil
guy 1: girls suck
guy 2: yep, they're evil
guy 3: you're just bitter cuz you haven't been laid in a while...day.
Girls were somehow linked to name.
Name
A meaningless word assigned to you that lets people judge you before they know you.
Your name's Weniger? What a sh*thead!
and then smart.
Smart
Knowledgeable, witty, or intelligent. Not a popular thing to be in America these days.
Haha, and SMART was linked to ASIAN.
Asian
A person who is from a eastern oriental country such as China, Japan, or Korea. Asians are usually smart and have the following aspects although not limited to:
1. straight A's
2. strict parents
3. good at Math and Science
4. superb SAT and ACT scores
5. Ivy League college oriented
6. some can break dance and rap
7. good at video games
8. generally dominates at anything they set out to do
also, asians are considered nerds, but more of a
cool-nerd type.
asian 1: hey, i got 2320 on my SAT!
asian 2: i got 2350!
asian 1: damn!
asian 3: fuck! i got an A- in english. shit, my parents are gonna kill me.
Then there was this..
Food
a substance you eat, then poop out.
usually followed my a nap.
linked to this. Haha,
I like it!
Restaurant
A place where you work after you have given up on your dreams. The restaurant industry, second only to organized crime, is responsible for the most ruined lives of any profession. Your role in a restaurant largely determines your quality of life. For instance, the average hostess or busboy will be less depressed than the average waiter or manager. And the average cook has killed 7 people in his life. If you think that any restaurant is sanitary, even the most fine dining establishments, you are dumber than the felon cooks who finger your food with cocaine and germ-covered hands.
Moving up in a restaurant means moving down in life, so if one ever finds themselves working in a restaurant, they should use their tips to buy a handgun, and shoot themselves right in front of a table that just began eating.
Zach: I do research at the local university, what do you do?
Nick: I am a server at a restaurant.
Zach: Oh...I'm sorry
Okay, I'm off for a shower. :D
And yes, I feel the need to inform my reader(s) of my whereabouts.
